


looking for his angels (a little too hard to find)

by emiliaslibrary



Series: carmina ad vitam inspirat [5]
Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dream Team SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF), Deity Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Deity Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mind Manipulation, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Protective Wilbur Soot, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Deserves Better (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), characters yes irl people no, inspired by my philosophy class lmao, no beta we die like men, tags to be added prob, tech and dream are gods and tommy is impressionable idk, these poor children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29077605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emiliaslibrary/pseuds/emiliaslibrary
Summary: He had lived many lifetimes—occasionally as a mortal, other times as an ethereal 'something else'. He had no preference. For this life, however, he was living amongst the mortals. And this time, he was experiencing something otherwise unknown to the long-lived being.Technoblade had a family.Or,basically sbi and dream and plato's story of the men in the cave;a retelling with deity! techno & dream-(title from 'sara' by we three)(meant to be multichapter but left as a oneshot until i can get it together :))
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream SMP Ensemble & TommyInnit, No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: carmina ad vitam inspirat [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122848
Comments: 10
Kudos: 168





	looking for his angels (a little too hard to find)

**Author's Note:**

> a prologue to the real story. meet our darling little family before the real trauma hits :)
> 
> *turned this into a oneshot until inspiration for this story returns :/

The formation of the world as it is known is a human concept. Animals never went searching for answers to life-pondering questions.

Neither did gods.

For centuries, the uncertainty of higher beings has caused many a mortal to question their reality. Sometimes they find an answer for themselves . . . be it in the holy nature of the very world they live in or in the idea of a Creator. Sometimes, humans decided that they simply didn’t care.

The Blood God liked those humans best.

He had lived many lifetimes—occasionally as a mortal, other times as an ethereal _something else_. He had no preference. For this life, however, he was living amongst the mortals. And this time, he was experiencing something otherwise unknown to the long-lived being.

Technoblade had a family.

His father was a man named Philza. Phil was kind and gentle to his sons—never hesitating when he found another small broken child. There was an open invitation into both his heart and home whenever he stumbled across these kids to whom the world had already been so cruel.

Wilbur and Tommy—his two brothers. Wilbur was found around the same time that the Blood God himself had been. They had both been about ten years old (at least, that’s how the god appeared). Wilbur was a strong-minded, even as a boy. He was always certain in what he wanted, and he would cross worlds to achieve it.

(Sometimes, he would try to corral his brother into doing it for him . . .

It never worked.)

Tommy had been found a bit later—Techno and Wilbur being thirteen and twelve, respectfully, and Tommy being seven. He was loud, and obnoxious, and demanding. Technoblade had taken an instant dislike of the small child. Which was fine, honestly, as Tommy took to Wilbur like a moth to a flame.

(Maybe Technoblade was a little jealous of the easy companionship of the two, but that would never be admitted.)

Together, they lived in a nice cottage at the edge of the woods. The children had free rein over the land nearby—from the forest to the plains to the mountains, they roamed it all. And when that became boring, as they had explored everything they pleased, they returned home to their house filled with warmth and love and laughter.

Despite their bumpy start to living in this world, there was happiness in their reality now. Phil made sure every need was met, and the boys found comfort in each other. There was not a secrets between them . . . they had no desire to have them.

And for once, Technoblade was not living a lonely existence. For once, he would consider himself . . . content. That longing in his soul for a used-to-be unnamed want had been fulfilled by the creation of his family.

Oh, how the other gods would laugh at him. He could feel their condescension even from across the barrier of worlds. But they didn’t understand—they couldn’t!

Centuries had passed in which Technoblade was comfortable with his solitary state of being. He had even frowned upon the deities who fell to the mortal cycle of worlds. How utterly simple, he had thought, that these fallen gods were. Disgusting, it was as though they were laughing in the face of their own divinity.

But Phil and Wilbur and Tommy had taken that thought process and crumbled it with their very mortal hands. Hands that, even two decades ago, Technoblade would have glared down his nose at the sudden appearance of them. Mortality was no longer a concept that made him nauseous.

He almost longed for it.

The fleetingness of their existence brought forth excitement—so much to do, so little time. Immortality had become bland after a few millennium.

Thankfully, he was able to enjoy his time with this new family. They were like a stroke of color amidst his black and white canvas. Techno finally had a purpose . . . other than causing bloodshed and strife. The voices were always yelling at him, but this time, it was different. They called for blood, yes.

But he wanted to _protect_.

There was no limitations to the places Technoblade would go to save his family. He wanted to wrap them all in wool and shut them in the house and spill the blood of anything that tried to hurt them.

That couldn’t happen, though. Because, before his very eyes, his brothers were growing and changing and becoming more adventurous. He could see the gleam in Wilbur’s eyes—he had ideas, plans, aims. He wanted to put them in motion, and he wanted to do it now.

And wherever Wilbur went, Tommy was sure to follow.

It was ironic, Techno thought, that Wilbur was the brother Tommy idolized . . . when his other brother was a literal god. Almost funny enough to draw a laugh from him, causing him to pause in his chopping wood.

Glancing at the pile that had been amassed, he deemed it large enough and shouldered his axe. Tommy and Wilbur could do their part and haul it inside.

(Or, more likely, Techno would do it himself on the morrow.)

The house wasn’t far from where he had been working. As he approached, the sound of loud voices could be heard—his brothers arguing, most definitely. They were so similar—so ridiculously alike that it caused their heads to butt more often than not. Because as much as Tommy looked up to their other brother, he had his own opinions. And if you couldn’t trust Tommy to voice his thoughts, what else could be trusted?

The youngest brother was newly turned fifteen, and his larger than life personality had taken on some typically teenager characteristics. It made him hard to deal with sometimes.

Techno pushed open the front door, dropping his axe in the corner, and saw the source of the commotion. Wilbur, voice raised, was gesturing wildly with a stack of papers clutched in his right hand. Tommy stood opposite of him, hands on his hips and a witty smile playing on his lips. When the noise of their brother entering the house reached their ears, they both turned to see him standing, amusement curling around his very being.

“Techno! Big Man!” Tommy called, loudly. He was facing him fully now, arms wide in an open gesture, “Tell Will that he’s being absolutely stupid!”

Wilbur scoffed, looking offended. “He doesn’t even know what’s going on, Tommy!”

Tommy only grinned. He threw himself down on the couch behind him and pointed at the other chairs.

“Then let’s fill him in, shall we?”

After following the youngest’s example and taking a seat, Wilbur started talking, retelling the story of the long conversation that had happened in the last two hours.

It was a drawn out tale, full of exaggeration which made Tommy cut in with his own side of things, but Techno got the gist of it eventually.

Tommy wanted to move. All of them—leave the only home they had ever had in this world.

The very idea of it made Techno’s limbs lock up and his breathing come harshly. How could he throw his family out of the safety of this place? The one place that he knew was absolutely secure? The rest of the world was new territory, unaccounted and unsure. They had put so much energy into this house—it was steeped in the memories they had made here. He didn’t want to leave—for once, the Blood God was happy being settled. There was no pull in his soul except to protect, protect, protect.

Tommy was resting on the edge of the couch, looking desperately hopeful for the favored opinion of his older brother. Techno had long since grew out of his dislike of the young boy . . . actually going as far as having a soft spot for Tommy. The thought of heavy disappointment replacing the excitement pulled on his immortal heartstrings.

But Techno couldn’t bear to take a chance on this. Leaving meant separation . . . and separation wasn’t something he was prepared for.

Realizing that both Tommy and Wilbur were waiting on his thoughts, he offered them hesitantly, “Tommy, I—I think that staying here might be for the best.”

Wilbur threw a fist into the air, victorious. Tommy’s deflation was instant. The boy let himself sink down into the couch cushions, expression marred by an ugly frown. His sigh was long and heavy.

Wilbur went to speak, but was interrupted by the appearance of their father barging in the front door. Phil found himself under scrutiny from all three of his sons. Eyes widening, hands slowly inching up in an attempt to look innocent, he spoke.

“What did I miss?”

* * *

Later that night, Techno sat on the floor in front of his dad’s designated chair. The fireplace was warming the room as Phil dragged his fingers through the long pink strands. This was a normal occurrence for them—Phil was one of the only people that was allowed to mess with his hair. With each tug and pull, the silence in his mind got louder. The soothing feeling of his father braiding his hair kept the voices at bay, and it gave Techno a feeling of serenity that was few and far between.

He let himself melt under his dad’s gentle care, relaxing his body completely for the first time in a while. Off in another part of the house, he could hear his brothers moving around. Everyone was nearby and accounted for, and it made the tight feeling in his chest ease, too.

“I think you should reconsider your decision about moving, mate,” Phil murmured, letting his nails scrape Techno’s scalp. The motion would have made him go limp, if the words hadn’t had the exact opposite affect.

His eyes fluttered before closing again. His sigh felt like it was pulling from the very bottom of his lungs. Maybe, if he didn’t answer . . . his dad would just drop it. Right?

Wrong.

“I know it’s hard to imagine,” he continued, pausing his ministrations to rest a hand on Techno’s shoulder. “But change doesn’t have to be a bad thing, son. Your brothers are getting antsier every day, and I think pushing them out into the world might get them to realize how nice this kind of life can be.”

Techno folded. He leaned forward, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, forehead caught in his hands. Breathing deeply, he searched for some kind of response—one that wasn’t gibberish lined with strong emotion. As amazing as Phil was, he didn’t think even his dad could decipher that.

If only Phil knew that change was something the god was intimately familiar with. When your life is a never ending line of time, years seem like minutes. _Permanence_ was like reaching out for something that could never be fully grasped, persistently slipping through his fingers every time they closed around it. And Techno was desperately clinging on to this piece of heaven that had drifted into the shit-show that was his life.

And it was selfish. So utterly selfish of him to want to put his family into these glass stands, keeping them from living their life just so he could pause the harshness of his. They were mortal, and he was ruining their chancing of actually _living_.

Maybe he hadn’t completely departed from his immortal mindset . . . it was a godly fallacy to perceive the lives of mortals as insignificant to justify their divine intervention—which happened usually for nothing more than entertainment, because ‘godhood was boring’. As simple as sticking a finger into their thoughts and giving it a little stir.

Distantly, he felt his dad pat him on the back before moving out of the chair, likely to go to bed.

He stayed in that position for what felt like hours. His thoughts were turbulent, mixing and turning so quickly—it felt like he was standing on a boat rocking with thirty foot waves.

That would explain the faint feeling of sea sickness.

* * *

A sliver of light could be seen from under Tommy’s door. Despite it being very late at night—technically morning of the next day—the boy was still awake. Good.

Techno knocked lightly, waiting for an invitation, before peaking his head in the room. Tommy was laid out on his mattress, head propped up on too many pillows to be comfortable, a little wooden figure turning over and over between his fingers. Techno had carved that for him years ago.

He made his way over to Tommy’s bed slowly, “Can I sit?”

His younger brother shrugged, but scooted over to make room all the same. The bed creaked as he eased down, kicking up his legs and laying back onto the mountain of pillows.

Comfortable silence filled the room for a few minutes. Techno was hesitant to break the peace.

“I shouldn’t have shut you down so quickly earlier today, Toms.” He muttered, dragging a hand over his face. It was as close to an apology as he would give . . . and even this he would deny if his brother ever brought it up again.

Tommy was quiet. His eyes didn’t move from where they had locked on to a spot on the ceiling, but he interlaced his fingers, resting them on his stomach.

“I hate the idea of moving, brother, because that means letting you all go,” Techno’s voice was barely above a whisper. If there hadn’t been complete silence in the room, Tommy might not have been able to hear him. There was a vulnerability in his words, and he had to fight his every instinct to force the words beyond the limits of his mind. Putting these worries out into the open air . . . it went against the very fiber of his being. But for Tommy, the young boy who deserved honesty, he would suffer through it.

“And letting you go,” he continued, “means offering you up to the world without my protection. I know, I do, that you’re both growing up—you and Wilbur—but knowing and acting on that knowledge is two very different things. Change is inevitable, though, and if you really want to do this, Tommy—”

He paused, sitting up and turning to look the boy directly in the eyes, trying to convey his genuine sincerity, “I will support you.”

Tommy shot up, surprise lining every facet of his face. His voice was loud, bolstered by his shock, “Really?”

Techno nodded. “Really.” He confirmed, corner of his lip twitching up in an imitation of a smile.

Faster than he knew to be possible, Technoblade found his arms full of teenage boy. Tommy had thrown himself forward, locking his arms around his brother and burying his head on his chest.

It was Techno’s turn to be shocked. Slowly, unsurely, his arms came to wrap around his younger brother. Tommy was muttering _thank you, thank you, thank you_ over and over, almost like a prayer. He dropped his head, letting it rest on the soft blonde curls.

The door creaked open, revealing Wilbur to be leaning against the door frame. A pleasant smile graced his lips, unruly hair obscuring his eyes just a bit, arms crossed over one another.

“What is this?” he said, easy amusement radiating through his words. “A cuddle pile . . . without me? How rude!”

Tommy lifted his head up, playing right into their brother’s game. “Get over here, then, dickhead!”

Wilbur didn’t have to be told twice. He moved quickly, jumping onto the bed and knocking Techno and Tommy over in the process. Both groaning under the only slightly unexpected weight, they shifted to make room for Wilbur.

They were a tangle of limbs, arms and legs thrown over each others in such a way that Techno couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. Surrounded by his brothers, warmth curled in his chest, tracing down his legs and revolving around his brain. He doubted either of them planned on moving anytime soon, which suited the god just fine. The room was pleasantly warm, and there was a certain level of drowsiness that it induced.

Before he let himself succumb to the darkness, one last coherent thought floated through his mind:

_Everything’s going to change._

* * *

“Dream? I need a favor.”

**Author's Note:**

> hello loves! i'm so excited for this story!!
> 
> unsure about the chapter count for now . . . i'll figure it out soon enough. i’m estimating about five so i’ll leave the count there for now.
> 
> also!! techno is meant to be read as super soft in this chapter. sure, he has past bad experiences but he's let himself loosen up during this life. be patient! the trauma will come!
> 
> anyway, i do plan on uploading soon but i am in college so i can't make any promises. at least a chapter, like, biweekly.  
> ... maybe lmao.
> 
> enjoy your day!  
> bye for now,  
> guys, gals, & nonbinary pals! :)
> 
> edit: (2/19/21)  
> hihi! i realize it’s been a minute since i updated. just wanted to confirm that this story is still in production. i’m working on the next chapter but my university work has hit me hard. i plan on finishing and releasing the next chapter before the end of feb, though. sorry for the delay!  
> (the winter storm power outage has also been uninspiring lmao. if you’re suffering in the South bc of these winter weather problems, i feel for you! hope everything returns to normal soon <3)  
> thank you for reading all of this if you made it this far. you’re appreciated!


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